Send your entries to jokesonyou@greensboro.com by apex Wednesday, 110817
Welcome to the Account & Record’s “Jokes on You” page. Actuality is this week’s animation for your explanation consideration, and aftermost week’s animation and entries for you activity (see below). Feel chargeless to column comments and ask questions.
And as always, please, no wagering.
Please bethink to put your name on your entry! (If you’re a inferior --- age 13 and beneath --- additionally bethink to accommodate your academy or age.)
Next week’s cartoon: Aftermost week’s animation was Chucky and the Toy Story gang. This week’s animation - the one you’ll be autograph captions for is – The backlash people.
WINNER
“It’s altogether accustomed to be abashed about activity beneath the knife!”
Tony Bean, Danbury
JR. WINNER
“What do you appetite to be, a Jack O' Lantern?”
Danielle, 10, Washington Montessori Elem.
RUNNERS-UP
“Jack O’ Lantern or Jill O‘ Lantern - it’s your choice.” --- Julian Busby, M.D. Aerial Point
“Many of my patients accept won adjacency contests.”
Bill Wallace
“My kids will abetment me with the procedure.”
Pat Foley, Homer Glen, Ill.
“Don’t worry, you will be glowing!”
Debbie Meurs, Greensboro
“No, it is not covered by Obamacare.”
Ken Miller, Greensboro
“Do you appetite a ‘lid’ or ‘no lid’ ?”
A. L. Capel jr., Troy
“Something added than triangle eyes and nose.”
Mari Reavis, Eden
“OK, which side?”
Joey Pellino, Reidsville
HONORABLE MENTIONS (also accepting a vote from the judges)
“Yes I can put a smile on your face!”
Tony Bean , Danbury
“With a little advice you will be aglow inside!!”
Tony Bean , Danbury
“Not alone will you attending better, you’ll accept an close glow.”
Bill Wallace
“I’m abashed those curve are categorical assuredly on your face. I can’t do annihilation for you.”
David Shoulberg, Greensboro
“You appetite your face to attending beneath presidential?”
David Core, Greensboro
TIM’S PICK(S)
Many acceptable captions this anniversary – all admirable of the votes they got, but these two capacity were – to me – a little beneath expected:
“Many of my patients accept won adjacency contests.”
Bill Wallace
“My kids will abetment me with the procedure.”
Pat Foley, Homer Glen, Ill.
Actually, my kids will be performing your procedure.
David Core, Greensboro
BEST INSIDE JOKE
I don't apperceive if I can do a Grey Poupon jar.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
I redid Chucky’s face, and I can advice you.
Sure I can carve you to attending like a jar of Grey Poupon.
When I’m done, you’ll attending absolutely like Tim.
Sorry I can’t accomplish you attending like Tim. That will abuse babyish children.
Roy Forrest, Whitsett
"Good timing...last anniversary Chucky would accept handled your procedure."
Scott Tredwell, Advance
I referred the abstraction to my aide Chucky.
Henry, Greensboro
"Whew! Every time I attending at the artificial surgeon talking to the pumpkin, the Chucky animation abutting aperture still gives me the willies!"
Paul J. Klosterman, Aerial Point
We’ll alarm it Orange Poupon
I see you accept been afterward the Orange Poupon diet
Lee F Richmond, Jamestown
I didn't TREAT the aperture assurance maker so he TRICKED me by putting aperture assurance adverse in
Rich Ellis, Pleasant Garden
BEST CULTURAL REFERENCE
I assumption authoritative you into Charlie Brown would be fair play.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
"So, you've apparent 'Hannibal' and you appetite a Ray Liotta special?"
Scott Tredwell, Advance
When I’m done with you alike Linus won’t admit you.
Roy Forrest, Whitsett
You say Ichabod Crane referred you to me?
Mike Perry, Eden
"Before you apperceive it, you'll be cogent people, 'They're real, and they're spectacular!'"
Paul J. Klosterman, Aerial Point
THIS WEEK’S JOY “WALKS INTO A BAR” JOKES
2 pumpkins airing into a bar. They achieve in and adore the alpha of a nice black out. But then, a car crashes through the window, abasing one of them. A doctor arrives on the scene, and checks out the afflicted pumpkin, afresh turns to his associate and says "I've got acceptable account and bad news! The acceptable account is that your acquaintance will cull through, but the bad account is he'll be a vegetable for the blow of his life!"
Mike Perry, Eden
Guy walks into a bar with a attic beneath his arm. The pumpkin’s carved with a sad face. The bartender says,” What up with him?” The guy says, “Pour my acquaintance a drink. His wife aloof took a job at a pie factory.”
A guy walks into a bar and sees a Jack-O-Lantern sitting on a table with several abandoned attempt glasses in advanced of him. The bartender says, “Don’t apperception him. Every year at this time he gets smashed.”
Roy Forrest, Whitsett
BEST SONGS THAT’LL GET STUCK IN YOUR #@&$% HEAD
#1: "Stay on the streets of this town
And they'll be abstraction you up alright.
They say you got to break hungry.
Hey baby, I'm aloof about appetite tonight.
I'm dying for some action.
I'm ailing of sitting 'round actuality aggravating to address this book.
I allegation a adulation reaction.
Arise on now baby, accord me aloof one look.
You can't alpha a blaze sitting 'round arrant over a burst heart.
This gun's for hire
Alike if we're aloof dancing in the dark.
You can't alpha a blaze annoying about your little apple falling apart.
This gun's for hire
Alike if we're aloof dancing in the dark,
Alike if we're aloof dancing in the dark,
Alike if we're aloof dancing in the dark,
Alike if we're aloof dancing in the dark.
Hey, baby!"
...with affliction to Bruce Springsteen.
Paul J. Klosterman, Aerial Point
BEST/WORST PUNS
"No, no. Scooping you out wouldn't accomplish you a de-seed-ent."
"Really, you're gourdgeous aloof the way you are."
Scott Tredwell, Advance
“So, you appetite a little Boo-tox?”
Debbie Meurs, Greensboro
BEST POEMS
The little old Adult at the aperture said are you aback again?
The little boy said no mam that was my twin.
The little adult said go and accompany your accompanying back.
and I will accord you abundant bonbon to ample a big sack.
Don Rankin Greensboro
Pumpkin, Pumpkin, big and round
What will your approaching be?
A smiiley face for Jack and Jill.
Or may be a nice pie for me.
Don Rankin, Greensboro
Said the pumpkin, "I cannot deny
I'm too fat and my axis is too high."
The doc went appropriate to work
With a smile and smirk.
It was bound angry into a pie.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
SCHOOL/JR. ENTRIES (elementary / average school)
Submitted by Louise Monroe, Washington Montessori Elem.
What do you appetite to be, a Jack O' Lantern?
Danielle, age 10, Washington Montessori Elem.
I'm so sorry, but I allegation carve you.
I see no scars on you.
How am I declared to do an operation on you?
What am I declared to fix?
Jaz'Yana, age 9, Washington Montessori Elem.
What would you allegation artificial anaplasty for?
Well, what are you here for?
You don't accept any accessible spaces.
Cyrah, age 9, Washington Montessori Elem.
Uhmm, Sir Pumpkin, we're activity to allegation some plastic for that!
Zion, age 10, Washington Montessori Elem.
Why are you here? The alone affair I can do for you is to carve you a face.
Ashanti, age 9, Washington Montessori Elem.
If I carve you, it will hurt.
I anticipation you were actuality for Halloween.
Should I carve you?
Aiden, age 9, Washington Montessori Elem.
Do you appetite to be hired?
Are you a new artificial surgeon?
Should I carve you to be better?
Did you booty a roll?
Noah, age 10, Washington Montessori Elem.
THE REST
“ Jack O’ Lantern or Jill O’ Lantern- it’s your choice”.
“Gap- tooth smiles are outré this year”.
Julian Busby, M.D. Aerial Point
1. "it's altogether accustomed to be abashed about activity beneath the knife"!
2. With a little assignment I accept we can booty affliction of that bare look.
3. Yes I can put a smile on your face!
4. if annihilation goes amiss we will fix it with a attic patch!
5. we will do our best to acquisition you a acceptable home!
6. Yes you do resemble a basketball!
7. Be accurate not to get burst this Halloween!
8. With a little advice you will be aglow inside!!
9. So you'd like to be alleged "Pumpkin Spice"!
10. I accept no abstraction how to change you into a "princess' carriage"
11. Acquaint me about your dreams of acceptable a attic pie!
Tony Bean , Danbury
1. "You apperceive your anaplasty is acting ! "
2 "You ambition to be a cut aloft accustomed pumpkins? "
3. "Don't be affright ! You will affright others ! "
4. " Do you appetite a ' lid ' or 'no lid' ? "
A. L. Capel jr., Troy
You appetite to be a new Aroma girl? I apperceive which one...
I don't apperceive if I can do a Grey Poupon jar.
I assumption authoritative you into Charlie Brown would be fair play.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
My arrangement book is affectionate of full, but I can assignment you in on....say.... November 23rd.
Mike Perry, Eden
1. "Actually, I would acclaim a mohel for axis circumcisions."
2. "Really, you're gourdgeous aloof the way you are."
Scott Tredwell, Advance
1. "Looks like the liposuction formed - you're no best a plumpkin."
2. "I'll add a blah aigrette and you can trick-and-tweet as a Trumpkin."
Scott Tredwell, Advance
1. "No, no. Scooping you out wouldn't accomplish you a de-seed-ent."
2. "So, you've apparent 'Hannibal' and you appetite a Ray Liotta special?"
Scott Tredwell, Advance
“I’m abashed those curve are categorical assuredly on your face. I can’t do annihilation for you.”
David Shoulberg, Greensboro
1. "Did you say you capital to be 'curvaceous' or 'carvaceous'?"
2. "Yes, it would blend with Linus if we cut you to attending like Charlie Brown."
3. "So, WITSEC wants you to lose the axis and get a Spaulding logo?"
Scott Tredwell, Advance
So you appetite to attending like Brad Pit.
OK, I understand. Break abroad from the triangular eyes and nose.
Patients like you are a dream arise accurate for guys like me.
May I advance article beneath adverse and added caring?
Sure I can do your face, but it’s not covered by insurance.
Can I accept the assortment for a pie?
Triangular eyes and adenoids are so aftermost year!
I accede your case melancholia work.
I redid Chucky’s face, and I can advice you.
I adulation patients like you. You’re a bare canvas.
The eyes and adenoids I can calmly do. The bad-tempered aperture are activity to be tough.
Sure I can carve you to attending like a jar of Grey Poupon.
Have you anytime anticipation about Botox for those wrinkles?
Guy walks into a bar with a attic beneath his arm. The pumpkin’s carved with a sad face. The bartender says,” What up with him?” The guy says, “Pour my acquaintance a drink. His wife aloof took a job at a pie factory.”
A guy walks into a bar and sees a Jack-O-Lantern sitting on a table with several abandoned attempt glasses in advanced of him. The bartender says, “Don’t apperception him. Every year at this time he gets smashed.”
When I’m done with you, you’ll be the allocution of the patch.
When I’m done with you alike Linus won’t admit you.
No I don’t booty Hobby Lobby allowance cards.
No I can’t accomplish you attending like a zucchini.
Yes I acclimated to assignment on Joan Rivers.
So you assignment for the Headless Horseman, and he wants to attending like George Clooney.
Roy Forrest, Whitsett
I acclaim a aglow smile and a cap in the advanced teeth
Certainly Mr. Boo I can help
We are consistently active this time of year for your procedure
You arise to be accomplished for this procedure
Paul Tombleson
"Your added options? There's a bakery abutting door."
"Not alone will you attending better, you'll accept an close glow."
"Any blister tissue will be masked with allspice and nutmeg."
"If you're activity conflicted, there's the Jack 'n Jill procedure."
"Our exceptional account additionally includes a amateur candle."
"Many of my patients accept won adjacency contests."
"Will it last? You'll be accustomed a sparkler for the 4th of July."
"The gap-toothed smile attending would be absolute for you."
"Without this procedure, you could advance a band about your bottom."
"I can accomplish you abundant again."
"For the adventurous, our Jackson Pollack activity employs a ample firecracker."
"Nothing will be ashen - allotment of you will go adjoin stem-cell research."
"If things go awry, I accept a brother who's a baker."
"There's some pain, but annihilation compared to a 450 amount oven."
"You'll attending so distinguished, they'll alarm you Jackson O' Lantern."
"Only the Bogie Godmother can accomplish you attending like a coach."
"I'm not abiding that Botox is the acknowledgment for your lines."
"George Clooney? Are you out of your gourd?"
"Those curve accord you actualization - afterwards them, you'd attending like a bank ball."
"It's not accurate that Joan Rivers was a accommodating of mine."
"If you don't pay, we'll appoint addition to snuff you out."
"You allegation a beard to assure you from a guy called Peter Peter?"
"You'll feel appropriate at home - all of my agents are above field-hands."
"The asinine beam comes at no added charge."
"I accept a pie-chart to authenticate how this would work."
"I accept in actuality blunt. First, we'll rip your audacity out......"
"Gourd-heads are my specialty."
"It's like a lobotomy, but with seeds instead of a brain."
"If things go bad, you can be acclimated as a candy-holder."
"After this, anybody will be able to authority a candle to you."
"Just attending at it as accepting a sunroof."
Bill Wallace
1. Did you say, "Oh cut it out?"
2. Don't worry. I'll adumbrate the stitches with a attic patch.
3. Afterwards surgery, you can aloof veg out.
Martha Eakes, Greensboro
"I'll do it but I accept to acquaint you, if you'll aloof go delay in a attic application you can get it done for free."
David D., Winston-Salem
"My ante are low because vegetables don't book abuse suits."
"Instead of an operating room, I aloof use the advanced balustrade floor."
"Medical degree? No, I'm aloof acceptable at acid out triangles."
"I'm activity to acreage out your activity to one of my associates."
"After surgery, we'll carrying you home in a hay wagon."
"What blazon of smile do you appetite - affable or menacing?"
"After the procedure, you'll feel like you're on fire."
"To abstain flame-outs, we'll use LED bulbs."
"As a assurance precaution, you'll be lined with asbestos."
"Your axis will be adapted for use as a chimney."
"Payment in cash? I like the way you roll!"
Bill Wallace
I abhorrence to interrupt, but I've aback got a appetite for a latte. Can I get you one?
I understand, sir. Waiting through October was hard, but you feel November ability be blame it.
I accept to admonish you sir, my name is Peter Peters!
No sir, I am a surgeon, not a carver!
You got a alarm from "Cake Wars?" and you appetite to do article to assure yourself, is that correct?
Mike Perry, Eden
“Are you out of your gourd?! There’s annihilation I can do for you.”
“No amount how you allotment it, there’s annihilation I can do for you.”
“I can consistently bandy you up in the air and watch you arise bottomward squash.”
Jim Ertner, Greensboro
No, it is not covered by Obamacare.
Ken Miller, Greensboro
“I can advance your face”
“The adenoids and the eyes will amount extra”
Ruth Petty, Greensboro
“I’m apropos you to a bogie godmother who does carrying conversions.”
Tim Tribbett
“Wow, that was a bad blow Mr. Headless Horseman.”
Tim Tribbett
“I assure you our aroma injections are the best.”
Tim Tribbett
“You analyze as a watermelon?”
Tim Tribbett
“I can about-face you into a ‘good pumpkin’ but not a ‘great pumpkin’.”
Tim Tribbett
“Have you anticipation about the blazon of candle you would prefer?”
Tim Tribbett
" I would admonish adjoin implants "
" A nip actuality and a constrict there and you will be acceptable as new. "
" Are you abiding you appetite the 'Trump' face this year ?"
David S. Crawford, Greensboro
"Difficult, not impossible."
"Sure, I can carve you up."
"Is this some affectionate of joke?"
"Circles and squares and triangles, oh my."
"I'll accomplish a new attic out of you."
"My kids will abetment me with the procedure."
"Which is your best side?"
Pat Foley, Homer Glen, Ill.
IF YOU PREFER I COULD RECOMMEND YOU TO DR. EDWARD SCISSORHANDS
Mark Trinkle, Greensboro
"Why do you appetite to be a Jack-O-Lantern?"
Luther Jackson, Stoneville
"Do you accept a ancestors history of Wrinkly Skin Syndrome."
Luther Jackson, Stoneville
"Anti contraction chrism is not an option."
Luther Jackson, Stoneville
"Well, afore you accept a facial rejuvenation...you'll allegation a face."
Scott Tredwell, Advance
"We'll bout your friend's 'fire in the belly' with a massive candle."
Scott Tredwell, Advance
DOCTOR SAYS - I'm SORRY SIR BUT YOUR ONLY OPTION IS TRUMP
Jim Bennett, Greensboro
"Good timing...last anniversary Chucky would accept handled your procedure."
Scott Tredwell, Advance
"Lasers? Acceptable choice...I'll be able to serve you during and afterwards surgery."
Scott Tredwell, Advance
"The operation is low risk. Do I accept in a college power? Like Duke Energy?"
Scott Tredwell, Advance
My wife calls affirmation on any leftovers.
Actually, my kids will be performing your procedure.
This is activity to amount an arm and a leg, of which you don't have.
Sorry, I don't accomplish lobotomy's.
You appetite your face to attending beneath presidential?
David Core, Greensboro
So, I would like a added Hallowed look.
Well you are absolutely accomplished for a face lift.
Hallo Mr. Boo, I’m Dr. Hoo how can I advice you.
Paul Tombleson
“I’m abashed we’ll accept to apple-pie out all of your audacity for you to accept this procedure.”
“So let me understand.? You are the ‘Great Pumpkin’ and you appetite to attending greater?”
Ed Drew, Greensboro
Yes, I can change that “pie” actualization and carve it into a “Jack O Lantern”.
John Bayersdorfer, Greensboro
"Something added than triangle eyes and nose"
Mari Reavis, Eden
"Help me, Doc, I'm annoyed of adorable like Donald Trump!"
Ryan Carney - Greensboro
"Doc, you've got algid asleep eyes and no fingers... I'm gonna go."
Ryan Carney -Greensboro
I anticipate it's cute, and absolutely clever. But seriously, who assassin you to do this?
Mike Perry, Eden
“Not abundant to assignment with, but I’ll accord it a try.”
David Shoulberg, Greensboro
The doctor says to the pumpkin:
"You'll be alveolate inside; can you alive with that?"
Margaret Mattoon, Greensboro
Yes, I can carve that pie face into a Jack o Lantern.
John Bayersdorfer, Greensboro
" Let me get this straight. You appetite to attending like a watermelon for Halloween and Thanksgiving but go aback to a attic afore Memorial Day and Independence Day."
David D., Winston-Salem
They acquaint me you’re activity into the Witness Protection program.
Sorry I don’t do aftermath procedures.
This activity will ablaze up your life.
Scary will amount you extra.
Have you anytime anticipation about a beard transplant?
Ears amount extra.
You appetite a facelift? You allegation a face first.
When I’m done, you’ll attending absolutely like Tim.
Sorry I can’t accomplish you attending like Tim. That will abuse babyish children.
If you appetite to arise off as ablaze guy, we’ll allegation a bigger candle.
Your anaplasty will be a smashing success.
Roy Forrest, Whitsett
I abhorrence to annihilate your dreams, but I can't advice you!
Mike Perry, Eden
You say Ichabod Crane referred you to me?
Mike Perry, Eden
So, you say you appetite the works?
Mike Perry, Eden
Are you abiding you accept the audacity to go through with this?
Mike Perry, Eden
“I’m abashed your allowance won’t pay for aroma injections.”
Tim Tribbett
“Are you sure? I can’t about-face the pie procedure.”
Tim Tribbett
I'd like to help, but what you're absolutely activity to allegation is a acceptable eye, ear, nose, and throat man.
J. C. Winkler, Asheboro
"A bad result? There's not a apparition of a chance."
"For comparison, there's a Sara Lee pie in my freezer."
"There'll be a new you on this year's ancestors Christmas agenda shots."
"Don't let the anticipation of this activity alarm you."
"I'd abhorrence to see you end up in a Pyrex dish."
Bill Wallace
"Want those curve removed ?"
"You appetite me to ample in those curve ?"
"Triangular eyes and adenoids I assume...."
"I went to medical academy for this ?"
"Yeah, I do a lot of these this time of year."
"Eye, mouth, and adenoids jobs, I assume."
"Mouth aboriginal ?"
"This anaplasty will booty a lot out of you."
"I abhorrence Halloween !"
"So you're annoyed of actuality a apparent Jack...."
"Let me guess...a alarming face."
"Don't appetite to be addition appealing face, huh ?"
"Usually I alpha with an animal face and accomplish a appealing one...."
"You'll be on my table twice, now and at Thanksgiving."
"I'll accomplish your anaplasty on my kitchen table."
Debra Watson, Eden
"Since you already accept his complexion, the Trump attending is a possibility."
"You accept the archetypal ample anatomy structure."
"I adulation alive with a bare canvas."
"Sexual reassignment is simple - we aloof abolish the stem."
"You bang me as the archetypal boilerplate patient."
Bill Wallace
“So, you appetite a little Boo-tox?”
Debbie Meurs, Greensboro
“Don’t worry, you will be glowing!”
Debbie Meurs, Greensboro
“Now aloof how accomplished do you appetite to look?
Debbie Meurs, Greensboro
“Yes, this will access your value”.
Debbie Meurs, Greensboro
“It’s a simple procedure. I will aloof inject attic latte into those crow’s feet”.
Debbie Meurs, Greensboro
“We can do a little attic application actuality and here.”
Debbie Meurs, Greensboro
You don't allegation anaplasty aback a attic application will work!
Mike Perry, Eden
I referred the abstraction to my colleague Chucky.
Henry, Greensboro
"Do you appetite a smile, frown or smirk?"
Luther Jackson, Stoneville
"Show me your acceptable side."
Luther Jackson, Stoneville
At this time tomorrow, there will a 6th aroma girl!
Mike Perry, Eden
You appetite to become a Jill-o lantern ?
David Core, Greensboro
"You could accept been round, collapsed and in 8 pieces."
Luther Jackson, Stoneville
"The witch angry you into a what?"
Luther Jackson, Stoneville
#1: "Stay on the streets of this town
And they'll be abstraction you up alright.
They say you got to break hungry.
Hey baby, I'm aloof about appetite tonight.
I'm dying for some action.
I'm ailing of sitting 'round actuality aggravating to address this book.
I allegation a adulation reaction.
Arise on now baby, accord me aloof one look.
You can't alpha a blaze sitting 'round arrant over a burst heart.
This gun's for hire
Alike if we're aloof dancing in the dark.
You can't alpha a blaze annoying about your little apple falling apart.
This gun's for hire
Alike if we're aloof dancing in the dark,
Alike if we're aloof dancing in the dark,
Alike if we're aloof dancing in the dark,
Alike if we're aloof dancing in the dark.
Hey, baby!"
...with affliction to Bruce Springsteen.
#2: "After this appointment affair is over, I'm activity to agenda a appointment affair with my psychiatrist, because I'm sitting actuality talking to a pumpkin!"
#3: "Smile!"
#4: "Don't worry! I'm activity to accord you a accomplished new attending on life!"
#5: "One day, you're activity to accomplish some ancestors actual blessed at ambrosia time!"
#6: "Why, sure! I can install breast implants on you, thereby authoritative you added adorable to men!"
#7: "Well, yes, I can put Mickey Mouse aerial on you and accept a become a Disney property!"
#8: "Stop absent me!"
#9: "I'm sorry, but you aloof assume to be over-qualified to be a cardboard weight!"
#10: "Before you apperceive it, you'll be cogent people, 'They're real, and they're spectacular!'"
#11: "Well, let's see. We can do traditional, we can do figurine, or we can do Rorschach test!"
#12: "Don't about-face your aback on me!"
#14: "No, I'm sorry, I don't anticipate I can advice you," said no Artificial Surgeon ever!
#15: "Thank you for advancing in today. I'd like to agreement on you afore I move my way up to people!"
#16: "Trust me. You'll go able-bodied with turkey breast!"
#17: "No insurance? No problem! No money? Problem!"
#18: "I'm sorry, but I was absent the day they accomplished us how to do that in medical school!"
#19: "I was already a artificial anaplasty accommodating too, and, as you can tell, it formed wonders on me!"
#20: "Yeah, I know. Actuality baldheaded is such a buzzkill!"
#21: "You accomplish a actual acceptable point. Not everybody has one of those funny adorable stems growing out of the acme of their head!"
#22: "Wow! It's a acceptable affair you told me...that you're not a patient, but a allowance from a patient!"
#23: "Men 45 allegation to see this new 'Bedroom Firestarter.' Oh, delay a minute! I was absent by an ad on your web page!"
Paul J. Klosterman, Aerial Point
"Pumpkin orange is adamantine to match."
Luther Jackson, Stoneville
"You allegation to go aback to whomever angry you into a pumpkin."
Luther Jackson, Stoneville
#24: "Now, brace my memory. Is this afore or after?"
#25: "Whew! Every time I attending at the artificial surgeon talking to the pumpkin, the Chucky animation abutting aperture still gives me the willies!"
Paul J. Klosterman
“Giving you Botox will aloof about-face you into a big orange with a handle..”
Phil Valla, Greensboro
Don't anguish Mr. President. Robert Mueller will never admit you now.
Henry, Greensboro
OK! You get your new face and I get a chargeless aroma latte accustomed until it runs out!
Mike Perry, Eden
"I'm appointed up. I already accept 7 pumpkins to accomplishment afore the 31st."
Luther Jackson, Stoneville
By law I accept to acquaint you: you could end up a vegetable!!
Mike Perry, Eden
The activity was a success.. But break abroad from Sleepy Hollow, Peter Peter and Starbuck's!
Mike Perry, Eden
So, where's the face that needs lifting?
Arista Shelton, Greensboro
"I amount if I'm activity beneath the knife, I may as able-bodied do it right."
"Please don't accomplish me attending like Carrot Top."
"I can't pay you, but you can use what's removed to accomplish a pie!"
Brandon Breeze, Greensboro
"I accept consistently admired your work."
Philippe Wiener, Greensboro
We’ll alarm it Orange Poupon
I see you accept been afterward the Orange Poupon diet
The aboriginal cut is the deepest
I like a apple-pie slate to alpha with
How abounding teeth would you like ?
We’ll alpha with a lobotomy
Great, I like beginning patients
What is your aliment accumulation ?
Lee F Richmond, Jamestown
"I've apparent worse."
Julie Crescenzo, Jamestown
1. I didn't TREAT the aperture assurance maker so he TRICKED me by putting aperture assurance adverse in
Rich Ellis, Pleasant Garden
"I can't do a facelift. You don't accept a face yet."
Jonathan Sparrow, Greensboro
"Mr. Potato Arch can adjure to my success with tubers and gourds."
"We banal canned pie bushing in case a admixture is needed."
"I'm certified by the USDA."
"If things go bad, we absence to the pie-tin option."
"Your alone affliction will be that you didn't do it in time for Halloween."
Bill Wallace
I'm sorry, sir. There is annihilation I can do to advice your big head, orange face and little stump.
Carol Gwynn, Eden
1. I'll do the best I can - but liposuction may be a little seedy
2. Let's put a smile on that face
3. Sorry, I can't accomplish you into a carrying - I'm not a bogie godmother,
Tennie Skladanowski, Greensboro
You know, I can alone do this once?
OK, which side?
Triangles or squares, that’s about it. And you appetite the candle where?
Joey Pellino, Reidsville
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